How often are you spending time with yourself?

How often do you actually spend time with yourself?

At first glance, that sounds like quite an odd question. You might think, well, all the time. But it is worth asking a bit more carefully. How often are you with yourself without distractions? No phone, no podcast, no radio, no television, no background noise. Just you, your thoughts, and a bit of quiet. For most people, the answer changes quite a lot when it is framed that way.

In what feels like no time at all, we have become completely surrounded by distraction. Not only that, we have become uncomfortable with boredom and uneasy in our own company. That matters more than we might realise. A great deal of our internal processing happens in those quieter moments. It is where we make sense of things, reflect, and form decisions. Without that space, we miss out on some really important nervous system regulation.

Even when moments of stillness are available, we tend to fill them. Sit on a train and look around. Most people are absorbed in their phones, scrolling almost without thinking. Very few are reading, and even fewer are simply looking out of the window. It worries me how normalised this has become. How common it is to see a child looking around, commenting on their world or looking for reassurance, only to be met with a parent staring into their phone. This is not about blame or moral failing, because these habits have quietly taken hold through systems that are highly addictive and completely normalised.

We see these scenarios in clinic all the time, in habits such as:

• Constant, mindless scrolling or repeatedly checking the news

• Relying on podcasts or audio to fall asleep

• Constant use of Google or AI to try and understand symptoms

• Working from home with no time spent transitioning between home and office

• Watching television while eating meals, then throughout the evening right up until bedtime

• Forming unhealthy attachments to wearable tech (Apple Watches, WHOOPs, Oura rings etc.)

Moments of stillness and time with ourselves give us a valuable opportunity to organise our thoughts, process experiences from the day, and check in with how we are really feeling. Constant distraction prevents this, and over time that becomes a real problem for our nervous systems, which rely on having the chance to settle and make sense of day-to-day experiences.

It is my observation that the longer people go without checking in with themselves, the more they begin to fear it, as though there is something awful waiting for them there. In reality, this is rarely the case. We can reconnect with ourselves slowly and mindfully, at a pace that suits exactly where we are and what we need at that time and before you know it, you notice big shifts in how you feel day-to-day.

We believe we have reached a point where we need to be more intentional about stillness and time with ourselves. We need to make an effort to step back towards the way things were 15 years ago, when there were fewer distractions and more space to simply be still. This takes willpower because distraction and noise have become the norm. The first step is consciously deciding to do things differently, from there we can take back control of our time, attention, energy and output.

Spending time alone with yourself can feel uncomfortable at first. That discomfort is often the very reason we avoid it. But it is also where clarity tends to come from. It is where we reconnect with what we actually think and feel, rather than what we are constantly being fed. Spending more time with ourselves can give us the tools and answers we need to thrive. We are all far more capable than we realise.

We held an afternoon workshop last week on calming the nervous system. It was a sunny, beautiful afternoon, and the difference in everyone’s energy and presence by the end of the day was staggering. Everyone’s shoulders had dropped, and there was a palpable sense of calm and relief in the room. That came from just three hours spent offline and focused on themselves. People brought journals with them and had gentle yet powerful insights into themselves and what their next steps might look like.

Following on from our brilliant in-person event last week, this June we are hosting a ‘Reconnecting With Yourself’ workshop. It will be an open space to brainstorm ways we can reconnect with ourselves, alongside practical steps you can commit to in order to move towards a calmer, more balanced life with less scrolling and more settling.

Join us for June's group session 'Reconnection with yourself' on Thursday 24th June at 12:30pm You can register here: https://www.juliadaviesnutrition.com/event-details/reconnecting-with-yourself

By consciously deciding to make a change and bring this into your awareness, we open the door to meaningful change, deeper healing, and a more aligned way of living. We hope to see you there.